Parenting Style: Is Your Parenting Style Reactive Or Responsive?

Do you know you’re parenting style? It's important to consider because the manner in which you raise your son or daughter can affect his entire life, including his ability to have relationships with others. Basically, there are three schools of thought when it comes to raising children. In this information, I'll explore all three and propose a fourth.

Your parenting style is normally determined incidentally your parents raised you. Although this can be a hard truth for many parents to swallow, if you've ever found yourself acting the same as your parents, you then realize that this really is true. Unless you've taken the full time to consider how you intend to raise your kids and what you plan to complete Parent Engagement differently, then a method you'll resort to is the one which was utilized on you.

Which parenting style best describes the way you interact with your kids?

Authoritarian

Are you currently a parent who demands obedience? Can you forbid your young ones to question you? If that's the case, you are an authoritarian parent.

Having an authoritarian parenting style, there's no question about who's in charge. The parent is the boss and demands respect from the little one who is anticipated to obey without question. A kid who disobeys is reprimanded, shamed or punished.

Drawbacks of authoritarian parenting:

The parent's relationship with the little one is similar to master and slave. The child might be respectful of the parent, but primarily because he's afraid of him. This kind of child usually perceives the parent as being cold and distant.
A kid who is coerced into good behavior may only act appropriately when adults are watching. Punishment doesn't teach a child to be always a moral human being--it teaches kids how to prevent getting caught.
Parents who demand respect often don't treat their children respectfully. This kind of child may grow up feeling bad about himself. Because his parents weren't tuned in to his needs, he may not be able to form healthy relationships with others.
A kid who is raised to be compliant may act robotically and struggle to think for himself.
Permissive
Can you let your kids run wild? Can you let your son or daughter make their own decisions and choose not to fix him when he's disrespectful or insensitive? If that's the case, you are a permissive parent. This kind of parenting is usually a response by those who were raised by authoritarian parents and want their children to truly have a better childhood than they did. Unfortunately, like most knee-jerk reactions, this type of parenting is extreme.

Permissive parenting is just a parenting style where parents let their children do what they will. A permissive parent acts more such as for instance a peer, than an authority figure. Little is done to show appropriate behaviors.

Drawbacks of permissive parenting:

Because this child might have been over-indulged, he may grow around be self-entitled.
The child may possibly not be sensitive to others'feelings and could have difficulty forming relationships.
The child could have problems in school.
A kid who has been encouraged to create decisions for himself that he hasn't developed the maturity to create, may feel confused, overwhelmed or paralyzed at the notion of taking action in the world.

Like the little one raised by an authoritarian parent, this child hasn't had a parent who acts in his best interest. As a result, he may feel that there is no-one he can trust.

Authoritative

The final is the authoritative parenting style. (Today's literature describes this style as assertive-democratic.) This technique recognizes that children should find out to create their particular decisions, but must be taught how to do this over time. This kind of parent responds to the child's needs but additionally teaches the little one to be sensitive to the needs of others. Although authoritative parents have household rules that they expect their children to check out, they encourage questions and are willing to negotiate in some circumstances. This parenting style consistently produces children that are self-starters, perform well in school and get alongside others.

As opposed to being at either end of the spectrum, this parenting style is somewhere in the middle. As opposed to being a response, it is just a response from what children absolutely need from us. Once we practice being authoritative parents, our ideas about parenting evolve. While children do need helpful information to guide them integrity, how to get alongside others and how the world works, additionally they need a loving, trustworthy guide. Parenting is all about connection and engagement. Whenever you understand this, you can cause an attractive relationship along with your child. I call this fourth and distinctly different parent style, connection-engagement and explore it fully in my book, Keepers of the Children.

Although during times of stress, we might unconsciously resort to the parenting style utilized by our parents, it's possible to unlearn this programming and raise children in ways that's humane and respectful--a way that resonates along with your heartfelt vision for the child.